Under Construction

Do you ever feel stuck? On one hand, you know God’s word is true, and He’s God after all. But on the other hand, His word and your life seem to exist on separate planes. You learn great truths about God, feel convicted, go home, and nothing changes. You wake up the next day and the same problems, same escapes, same expectations are waiting for you.

The word around our church seems to be that God is poking into uncomfortable places in people’s lives. These are people that have been transformed by God, who would swear up and down that they love Jesus, but God is exposing parts of us that do not want to be changed. Unfortunately (but really wonderfully and graciously), God does not want a quick-fix makeover. God is after all of us – the good, the bad, the things we used to take pride in, our anger issues,  the secrets we keep, the hurts that have long been buried. Some of our insecurities have gone so deep that they almost seem a part of us. When those things are touched, it’s so easy to get defensive and say “that’s just who I am” or “that’s my personality”.  It’s all so … messy.

As I have been more and more exposed for the sinner I am, I find myself uncomfortably grasping for solutions. I go to bible studies, listen and read (couldn’t resist a plug for our transcription ministry here) sermons, try to pray, and the same struggle and feelings persist. But through this, I realized a very great promise – God is more persistent. So no matter how stubborn, near-sighted, self-deceptive, cold-hearted, uncaring person I am, I am never out of God’s reach. In fact, one reason it may seem like God is “slow” to answer prayers is because He is eager to cultivate faith in our lives. He wants to give us a faith that is not dependent on us getting our way every time, but a faith that trusts in God’s Word over our own experiences. God is not out to simply cut out the bad parts of our lives to build a bigger, better Christian, but He wants to teach us to depend on His goodness that cannot, will not fail.

The greatest security is found in how Jesus loves us. John wrote, “Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end.” God is not surprised by how messed up you are. He knows exactly who you are and the price it takes to save you. Knowing that, Jesus deliberately gives up his life to ransom ours. Because of Jesus’ love we can have the confidence to know that no matter how difficult it is to change, Jesus will never leave us. Jesus loves his people to the end. He did not just come to give us a new chance to get it right. Step by step, decision by decision, day by day, God is in the process of restoring us. So even though right now it may seem impossible to change, we can trust God’s promise that one day Jesus is coming back and every sin that we struggle with will disintegrate in His presence. In that day, we will be able to fully love God and love others. Jesus loves us to the end.